Humberto Soto minced no words when he declared Joe Cortez a racist for disqualifying him after Soto illegally hit Francisco Lorenzo while he was down during Saturday’s WBC super featherweight title bout. It’s an odd accusation considering Soto is Mexican and Cortez is Puerto Rican. And if living in New York City taught us, it’s that Mexicanos from Puebla and Puerto Ricans from, um, Puerto Rico get along just fine. Cortez does appear to jump the gun on a disqualification. Two points erased from Soto’s scorecard would have been plenty, especially because he did go into the fight as the champ. Joe Cortez’s response after the jump.

If we were to tell you that a robot existed that pours the perfect pint of beer, would you call us crazy, or ask for more information? We’re guessing the latter. In any event, you need to check this out, especially as this is the day before July 4, and you’re itching for a way to kill some time before heading home for the long weekend.

The Oakland A’s have just shelled out some serious cash for a 16 year old Dominican kid. Pictured with his family is a semi-smirking young fellow named Michael Inoa. He’s a 6’7”, 205lb teenager that is already tossing more than 90mph. And with his “fluid motion”, Inoa’s expected to hit some serious heat in the next few years.

The A’s paid him a $4.25 million signing bonus for his services and as you can clearly see, his family is ecstatic about all the money they’ll be swimming in! No, really. His mom is sorta smiling. Best of luck, Michael. We’ll see you in Dodger blue in five years.

Loss spoils A’s Inoa joy [Bay Area]
Image [Bay Area]

Fitness: it’s the most important factor a team concentrates on when deciding on whether to purchase a player or not. If the player is not fit, then he is rubbish. If he’s beyond fit, then he’s worth a possible $100 million dollar raise. So, there’s an interesting scenario brewing up in Portugal. Cristiano Ronaldo is currently riding the high seas on vacation, but officials from the Portuguese FA insinuated today that he’s about to go under the knife in two or three days. Manchester United are completely flabbergasted by the idea, but wouldn’t this help them keep Real Madrid out of the picture?

We’ve had our fair share of testicle injuries to grace this site. Yet, none more horrific than this poor fellow. Since we’ve absolutely no idea who he is, we have no means in which to investigate the state of his, er, cojones. But, Chris Snyder reveals the awful truth that something truly severe can occur in the nether regions. Ever heard of a fractured testicle? That’s exactly what Chris Snyder suffered in the above clip. It’s not a bruised testicle, or a twisted one (the likes Felix Pie experienced in pre-season training). Nope. He straight up popped something. Wince, fellow men. Wince.

Today (Or Yesterday) In Nut Shots, Chris Snyder’s Broken Testicle (Wait, What?!) [Awful Announcing]

• Michael Barrett of the Colorado Rockies took a foul ball to the face last night during an at-bat. Just keep replaying the hell out of this video. [Fan IQ]
• Lenny Kravitz has responded to allegations that he’s finger-picking Cynthia Rodriguez. Guitar metaphors are great. [Guanabee]

Our homies in Los Angeles emailed us yesterday asking what we were doing for the fourth in Mexico City. I promptly replied that I would run down Insurgentes Sur wearing a lucha libre mask in the red, white and blue, then light some Roman Candles off of my balcony. I’d probably be drinking some Victoria, cooking up some Farmer John’s on the outside grill and digging into some homemade guacamole. The homies replied and stated they’d be grubbing on some carne asada, burgers, Tecates and, yes, lighting Roman Candles as well. I laughed. But, remarkably observant as I am, I thought “What do other vatos do for the Fourth?” Do you play any soccer? Baseball? Do you make a trek to Pahrump, Nevada to buy $400 dollars worth of illegal fireworks or do you hit up Don Alberto in Azusa to get some sparklers for the kids? Is there Quilmes or Sam Adams at your party? It’s strictly curiosity that’s driving this so let us know in the comments.

Another day, another iPhone story. Today, though, we’re looking to save you a little money. By now you know that AT&T will sell the iPhone 3G without a two-year contract… for $600 or $700. Don’t be a fool and spend that much money for the new iPhone if you want it without a contract. Here’s how to do it the smart way.

It’s not always the case, but most players from the losing team can rest assured that their locker rooms are a safe haven, keeping them at bay from witnessing the champagne-drenched fiesta that takes place in the winning team’s locker rooms.

It’s amazing how far rep gets you in soccer. Last week, when Ronaldinho played in a Venezuelan exhibition match, he showed that Ronaldo wasn’t the only soccer star who could develop a gut. But instead of shying away from the suddenly available Barca striker, clubs are going out of their way to land the paunchy footballer with the recently repaired knee. Manchester City even went so far as to suggest one of the main reasons they recently signed Brazilian star Jo for $38 million was to help motivate Ronaldinho to train better once he got to Manchester Stadium. It’s kinda like when we literally get a little too big for our britches, we pay $100 for a pair of pants in our desired size to motivate us to work out. In our experience, neither tack works, but maybe when you have a $200,000 a week contract hanging in the balance, it might change things (our guess, it won’t, so just hire someone to take those damn bolinhos from him.)